Provide more useful error message if a non-compliant DAP tool (or user) sends bad input to DAP server (#107827)

* Fix issues running integration tests through DAP

These adapters were incorrectly trying to connect a DDS instance even when Flutter would create its own. This change disables DDS in the DAP layer and leaves it to Flutter (although it passes `--no-dds` on to Flutter if provided to the DAP process).

Also fixes an issue where we would unnecessarily connect the VM Service for tests even in 'noDebug' mode because of a change/fix that now includes a 'vmServiceUri' in the `test.startedProcess` event.